Co-Dependent Beliefs About Relationships

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• If I do things to make myself happy the other person won't love me.
  

• If I do things to make myself happy the other person will see me as selfish.
  

• Good loving people are suppose to make the other person happy.
  

• If I am myself the other person won't really love me.
  

• No matter what I do in a relationship it always turns out badly.
  

• It's ok to give a lot more than I get.
  

• If I love someone, I'm responsible for their happiness.
  

• If someone really loved me they would never do anything to upset me.
  

• In relationships you're either in control or being dominated.
  

• Getting rejected is the worst thing that could ever happen to me.
  

• (For women) If I'm a successful and powerful woman I won't be loved and I'll end up alone.
  

• (For men) If I'm soft, gentle and sensitive people will think I'm a wimp and I won't be loved.
  

• If I take care of myself I won't be able to take care of anybody else.
  

• If someone loves me I'm supposed to love them too or I'm a bad person.
  

• There is one magic person out there who will meet all my needs.
  

• A close love relationship is the only thing that will make me feel complete.
  

• My good feelings about who I am stem from being liked by you.
  

• My good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you.
  

• Your struggles affect my serenity.
  

• My mental attention focuses on solving your problems or relieving your pain.
  

• My mental attention is focused on manipulating you to "do it my way."
  

• My self-esteem is bolstered by receiving your pain.
  

• My own hobbies and interests are put aside. My time is spent sharing your interests and hobbies.
  

• Your clothing and personal appearance is dictated by my desires, as I feel you are a reflection of me.
  

• Your behavior is dictated by my desires, as I feel you are a reflection of me.
  

• I am not aware of how I feel - I am aware of how you feel. I am not aware of what I want - I ask what you want. If I am not aware, I assume.
  

• The dreams I have for my future are linked to you.
  

• My fear of rejection determines what i say and do.
  

• My fear of your anger determines what I say and do.
  

• I use "giving" as a way of feeling safe in our relationship.
  

• My social circle diminishes as I involve myself with you.
  

• I value your opinion and way of doing things more than my own.
  

• The quality of my life is in relation to the quality of yours.